Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
