Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
