Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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