Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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