saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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