Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
