You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
