I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
