I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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