Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
