I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
