i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
