oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
