Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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