we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
