I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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