covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
where am i from again
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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