I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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