And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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