why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
