at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
