could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
