so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
