he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
