Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
