oh god the rape fog is back!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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