Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We just shotgunned beers for America
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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