Will you blow on my dice?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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