I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The feeling are messing with the penis
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
