One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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