Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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