omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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