dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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