week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
