how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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