i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
