No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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