Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
