if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
