What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
