They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
