Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
