need another drink. this is the easiest way
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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