Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
