Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
