Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
