Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
