haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
