The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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