Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize