my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
