Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
