I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
