Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I want to make a zoo with you.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize