my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
