I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
