So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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