I wish I could punch you in the face.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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