we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
