I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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