arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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