you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
