I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
