so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
