This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
