apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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