Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
