i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
