trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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