I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Come share oat with me in your robe
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
