Non-Jews are for practice
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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