I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
