That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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