not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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