im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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