oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
