they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
