the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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