Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
