Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
