why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Boobs are out for the taking
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
